🧠 YOUR CURRENT SURVIVAL PROBABILITY
23% — You might survive if you buy our premium package. Maybe.
*Based on absolutely no scientific research whatsoever
⏰ TIME UNTIL ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
*Countdown to a date we completely made up. But it FEELS right.
🧟 MEET OUR CERTIFIED ZOMBIE EXPERTS 🧟
💀 OUR SURVIVAL PACKAGES 💀
Basic Survivor
Learn to run. That's it. Just... run really fast. We'll email you a YouTube link on proper running technique.
FREE (Zombie-back guarantee*)
Brain Protection Pro
Includes a tinfoil hat, 3 cans of beans, a motivational poster saying "You Got This!", and a slightly used frying pan.
499 SEK / month
Luxury Bunker Access
Our underground bunker features WiFi (occasionally), unlimited instant noodles, and one (1) fold-up IKEA bed (assembly required).
4,999 SEK / month
ULTIMATE ZOMBIE VIP
Skip the apocalypse entirely — JOIN the zombies! Includes full zombie makeover, walking lessons, and lifetime supply of brains (synthetic, we're ethical).
YOUR SOUL / one-time
💬 WHAT OUR SURVIVORS SAY
I followed ZombiePREP's advice and survived for 3 whole days. Worth every krona. The zombies eventually got me but I felt very prepared going in.
The tinfoil hat DID NOT protect my brain as advertised. However, I now have excellent WiFi reception and my sourdough bread has never tasted better.
uuggghhh braaains graaah aaaahhh mmmmm brrrains ugggh